by Dr. Wendy O'Connor, Positive Psychologist + Life Strategist for Women

But Now I'm Stronger- How to Be Resilient


Did you catch the Britney reference? Seriously though, cultivating resilience can help us navigate through life's hardships much easier. We think about resilience as the ability to bounce back in the face of adversity, stress, and hardship. This means that while you continue to experience strong emotions, you will be able to get back in the saddle relatively quickly. Who doesn't want that?


Resilience is learned, you are not born with it. So get excited, you can create resilience whenever you want to! There are several factors that contribute to feeling resilient:


* Having supportive and loving relationships built on trust.

* Holding a positive view of yourself and maintaining confidence in your abilities.

* Being able to make realistic plans and follow through on them.

* Managing strong emotions and impulses.


Are you ready? Let's get to it.


Here are my 5 Tips for Building Resilience:


1. Building close relationships: Accepting support from those close to us helps builds resilience, and feeling connected to people can help us feel better ‘able’ or equipped to go through challenges in life.


2. Work on your confidence: Seeing yourself in a positive, capable light will allow you to believe that you can overcome stress and challenges, and will allow you to trust your instincts which helps strengthen resilience.


3. Be mindful of your perspective: The way you interpret stressors in your life is more important than the actual stressors themselves. Modify the meaning you attach to a particular stressor and watch the impact that stressor has on your life disintegrate.


4. Engage in goal setting and evaluation: Working towards your goals and overcoming small obstacles along the way will help build confidence and positively impact your drive to continue achieving goals. Make sure your goals are realistic and achievable, in order to avoid setting yourself up for failure.

Accept that change is a part of living. Certain goals may no longer be attainable as a result of adverse situations. Accepting circumstances that cannot be changed can help you focus on circumstances that you have control over altering.


5. Self-care: You do not need to head to the spa every week, but I do want you to prioritize self-care in the name of quality sleep, nutrition, exercise, as well as emotional self-care like tuning in to your emotions and how you feel on a regular basis, and honoring those feelings as they come to the surface. Make it a point to know exactly which emotions you are feeling so that you are better able to identify the best strategies to cope with them.


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